2 months old!

Hi all, it’s me, Esch - the substitute blogger for this week. Please bear with me and don’t treat me like your high school substitute teacher.

Today is William’s 2 month birthday, pretty incredible; I am so proud of him and even more proud of the job Erin has done over the past two months. The transformations I’ve seen her make from girlfriend to fiancé to wife were seamless and perfect. But watching her become a mother has been simply beautiful. Always in control of the situation, she never panics and has a plan for every situation. The addition of William didn’t force her to thinly spread her love and time among the three of us (William, Georgia and myself) but somehow increased her ability to love. It has been pretty awesome to watch.

I don’t have a clever background for writing this week, I just thought I would provide insight into (or remind some of you who are already parents) what I have learned as a parent over the last two months.

1. It IS ok to use the toll road when your wife is in labor. For months Erin and I jokingly (I think) argued about the use of the toll road since it only allows you to skip one traffic light. Erin told me, prior to William’s birth, that when we were en route to the hospital and she was in labor that I should NOT use the toll, she will be fine. I joked and said “we’ll see.” On the morning of 11/09/2009 you would have seen our vehicle flying through the toll plaza on our way to the hospital. I didn’t even think about cracking a joke that I was right….but I was right. ;-)

2. Women are stronger than men. I passed out when they were trying (forever) to put the IV needle in Erin’s arm. Erin, on the other hand, forced a human out of her body in about ½ of an hour. Once the doctor said push, it only took her seven “pushes” to get William out. Fortunately, I had recovered from my medical condition and was able to watch the whole thing.

3. Neither Hitchcock nor Steven King can hold a candle to how scary it is when the doctor tells you that you can go home…and you are on your own. A friend told me that first night would be the scariest night of my life; you were right, John. After a very slow drive home (and I mean slow, I think a runner passed us, but you can’t be too safe) we were completely alone with the little guy. No one was checking in on us like at the hospital, there were no doctors on-call; just Erin, myself, and this little baby that couldn’t do anything for himself. Needless to say we made it through and the next morning was a relief as everyone was just as we were the night before.

4. Introductions between dogs and babies are a funny thing. I don’t think Georgia realized William was an actual “being” until the third day he was home. William was in his swing beside me and I was trying to get Georgia to smell him. He sneezed and if Georgia was a cat she would have lost 8 out of 9 lives. She jumped and ran to the other side of the room. From that point forward she knew of his existence and has become a great big sister.

5. Babies fart. A lot. Again, John, you were right.

6. On a similar note, the first smiles are not because of Mom and Dad. But once you see the first real smile that is because of you, you can’t get enough of it. No matter how tired, angered or discourage you are, a smile from your baby fixes all of your problems.

7. Parents, and anyone really, will become addicted to the above smile once they cause one. And, like an addict, they will do things not in their normal behavior to get their fix. I for one have made up the most ridiculous songs rhyming words like “lamp” with “cramp” followed by high pitched squeaks to persuade a smile.

8. Once you have a baby, you will never be able to have a schedule or be on time again. We try and try and try, but something always comes up. I should have known this would be the case when he came 10 days early. Everyone we talked to (including doctors) told us the first baby almost ALWAYS comes late, so, with a due date of 11/19/2009 I made sure to leave that week and the following two weeks open, not scheduling any appointments that might interfere. Of course, in doing that, the prior week was heavily booked. He came that prior week and I haven’t had a solid schedule at home or at work since. AND I LOVE IT!

9. Moms just know. Erin became a mother overnight, and in my estimation, a very good one. We were both fortunate to have great parents to model our game after. Thank you.

10. Babies, as a friend put it, are more durable than you think. I’m not saying you can treat them like a sack of potatoes, but they are built to last. Within the first week we were figuring out how to accomplish chores and have a life while taking care of a baby. They get scratches on their face, rashes on their butt, and dry skin here and there, but they survive and in William’s case thrive. He is now 25 inches long (93^rd percentile) and weighs 11 lbs, he no longer fits in most of his original clothes! He got his first vaccinations yesterday; it wasn’t as bad as people make it out to be. Mom, Dad and baby all made it through just fine.

11. Whacky-Waving-Inflatable-Arm-Men were invented by a new parent. Babies have no control over their body, most noticeably their arms (and as you will see in #12 their private parts). They actually make clothes with hand covers, not to keep them warm, but to keep them from hurting themselves. William’s arms are in constant motion; we have to wrap him in a straightjacket just so he doesn’t hurt himself while sleeping.

12. Never underestimate a baby’s sneakiness. A baby, such as William, will wait until the perfect moment, usually around 2am-3am to begin his attack. Like most nights he will spit-up while you are changing him, this is very normal. But, do not forget all babies are born strategists, sharpshooters and are experts in multiple weapons. He will aim his spit-up to go directly between the slats of his changing table onto your leg and the floor. In your altered state of consciousness at 2am you will groggily remove the towel, your only defense, from his privates. It will be too late by the time you realize the spit-up was only a diversion. The Death Star, unbe-knownst to you, is fully operational. As urine covers you, your baby, and his nursery you will know you are defeated. Fortunately your baby is a good winner, he knows when you are defeated and is kind enough to give you a big smile. Again, no matter what is going on, his smile makes you forget any troubles.

13. A baby’s cuteness will always outlast a camera’s battery. Erin, our perpetual photographer, may have met her match. We actually purchased an external hard drive to hold all of the pictures we have been taking. The battle between cuteness and battery continues on as at this moment, Erin is upstairs photographing our little guy.

14. A baby’s first Christmas may not be remembered by him, but will always be remembered by you. We were fortunate to have all of our family visit Texas this year for Christmas. Even Erin’s grandparents were able to surprise us (all of us) on Christmas by showing up at the door. William, and his parents, were spoiled with gifts and attention. Thank you all for coming down!

15. Lastly, a baby makes a family and adds to any life. At least that was the case for us. Erin, Georgia and I had a great life prior to William’s arrival. But he has brought so much happiness in his first couple months to so many people. His innocence is inspiring and his ability to make you want to be better than you were is contagious. Thank you William for coming into our life. And thank you Erin for being the mother, wife and friend that you are. I love you both.